Just cropdusted the office
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
