i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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