Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
