I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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