So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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