This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
