I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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