You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
