please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
