The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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