I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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