My friends, they love my intelligence
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
