Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
