Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
