ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
