Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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