ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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