He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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