I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
