if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
All the doctor said was why
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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