Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She's the barista slut.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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