the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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