i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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