$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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