and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
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I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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