even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I will pee on everything he values.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
