Me. At least after what I've been through.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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