He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
