My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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