we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
