I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
