Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How does one acquire holy water?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
