Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
