just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
