Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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