Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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