i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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