also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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