Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
