And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
