I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize