The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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