pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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