Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
