I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
