I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
