Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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