There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
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I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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