last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
