he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
