There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
