I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
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We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize