I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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