what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
