She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
